MVPA's!

This is about the Most Valuable Pathetic Assholes I've either encountered or heard about lately. They are "valuable" in that they tell us which direction NOT to go in. First off there's a clip that I think is on EBaums's World but since I hate that site here's a link that has it (scroll down to "self-involved much":

http://www.gordonkeith.com/wordpress/

It's a 911 phone call from a woman in line at some fast-food place trying to get the cops to do something about her order that has been made wrong 3 times. Now I agree, these guys screw up a lot of orders, BUT when does it start to make sense to you to involve the police. This soccer mom needs to dipped in the deep-fryer one limb at a time until she comes to. Now on to the warm up rant...

I found these two twerps through Gordon's site as well. I think I understand people that are into body modification, I jokingly call them Future Primitives after the name of an old skateboarding video. They feel an overwhelming desire to set themselves apart from the pack. The "underground music", dyed hair and wacky clothes weren't doing it. Tatoos sufficed for a bit, but then everybody got them, often with full sleeves/facial tattoos, etc. What do we do now?
I know, I'll have earlobes like my 90 year-old granny, get a nasty brand seared into my flesh and if I'm really desperate some kind of implants like little beads or horns under my skin. I've seen even more extreme projections of this way of thinking but this one seems the most ridiculous to me. These fuckers cut off their ring fingers rather than get wedding rings:

http://www.bmezine.com/news/pubring/20050401.html

Call me conservative. Call me "old-fashioned", boring, closed-minded or what you will but all I can muster is a big "WHO CARES?!!". I'll bet these "fringe-dwellers" are still religious about watching Desperate Housewives or some such drivel. Read the article if you want the particulars. This BMEzine seems to be a haven for the body-mod. folks. Let me reiterate, NOBODY CARES!

My new enemies, the cheerleaders of THE DALLAS MARATHON, and I met last Sunday morning after they woke me at 7 a.m. from a wonderful rest. To make what I would love to make a long story, short, I went down to see what all the fuss was, after hearing various "Woo!"'s, "Woo-Hoo!"'s and "You can do it!"'s for about an hour with a pillow over my head and my girlfriend starting to get irritated as well. I went up to the loudest and most distinctly voiced twentyish, sorority type and said "Where do YOU live? I live right back there and I've been listening to you scream for about an hour now, etc. etc." I gave her the "my only day to sleep in" thing, and asked her if this was for charity (which would have made me a smidgen more sympathetic). She said it was just a race and gave me a sheepish, "sorry..". I then went up to one of the cops blocking traffic for three blocks and asked him if their permit included all-the-noise-they-could-make as well. He said "They have a permit, that's all I know." And to cap it all off as I slithered back into my hole looking like I just crawled out of one, I actually wondered whether I was an asshole for doing this. Well, the answer is an emphatic NO! Pandering to neurotic joggers, and middle-aged goobers (Though I might fit that description) that have to prove that they can "Do It!" is not justification for using tax-payer money to have cops re-direct traffic. Not to mention the gall and poor planning of the "organizers" of the event who decided to have their noisy, watergirls right in the middle of a residential block rather than in many of the less populated areas nearby. Thankfully my girlfriend, Kara has bigger balls than everyone else in this neighborhood. When we left a few hours later and they were still at it she yelled, "GIVE IT A REST, YOU FUCKING CATTLE!!", which was heard for miles around. And another thing, "You kids stay the hell outta my yard!!"...